Crotchety Cougars Win Big Time Part 1
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The Cougars Drop In On Fiji
AMBER: Did I tell you my grandfather sailed to Fiji on a pirate ship? He was brought on board to be a ratter and keep the rats down so they didn’t eat all the food. 
Well, Granddad Flips didn’t like the taste of rats. He said they were a terribly coarse meat and their spiky fur made him sneeze. Needless to say, he did a rotten job of clearing the rats away so when the pirate ship landed in Fiji, Granddad Flips took off like a firecracker was up his butt. The pirates were really upset and looking to get rid of the cat cause Granddad Flips was eating more of their food than the rats. 
MADI: How did he survive on this island? Was he welcomed or treated as an interloper? 
AMBER: He loved it in Fiji and even learned the Fijian language. His favourite food was fish and he had a whole ocean full of these delicacies. Granddad Flips was a fun guy mom said and every kitty loved him. However, he had one habit that made him unique. He liked to sleep on his head. See, this is the picture mom gave me of Granddad Flips.
SARABI: Sorry Amber, but your granddad was weird. However, he is fascinating. Whatever happened to him?
AMBER: I totally agree Sarabi, granddad was an odd character but memorable. He left Fiji on a cruise ship, cause none of the crew on the ship, saw him sneak aboard. He got off the ship in the UK and the rest is history.
We’re getting pretty close to the island of Viti Levu. Look!! 
BINGA: Fiji, here we come!
Wow. it’s so warm here! There is a slight breeze. Can you smell the Pacific? I can, and I smell fishies!
Sasha: Which way do we go to get our luggage? They better be gentle with my new suitcase or I’ll play wacky paw with their chin! Hmpf.
Ali: Over here. They’re just sitting here all by themselves.
Nobody’s around so we best just take them. Come on Buddy can you get us a couple of carts.
BUDDY: Sure nuff ladies. I can put 3 suitcases on ebie cartee but youse guys hasta push. Thar you gos.
I love it here. Oh, look there’s a makeup store….. duty-free. We must look on our way home.
BINGA: What does duty-free mean? Nobody did their business on it? You mean they’d sell it with duty all over it? Yuck!!
MADI: This is Nadi International Airport and it’s just teeming with bodies. Let’s get out of here before someone steps on me. Look there’s our limousine to the hotel. 
Thank you so much, Mr. Limo driver. A little something for you my friend. *Kali slips the driver 5 treats and a small nip leaf.* The limo driver has a quizzical look on his face but thanks, Kali and drives away.
Wow, this is cool gals. We each have a hut of our own. I booked us for a week. 
BUDDY: My own house!! I like dis. I don’t have to share. Mine all mine!
Is anybody in the mood to go swimming? Nobody! OK, we’ve been awake all night. It took 13 hours to get here so let’s have a nap and go sight seeing when we wake up.
SARABI: Super idea, I’m seeing mice when I close my eyes so I need to chase those mice in my sleep.
The cougars leave for their own huts.
Kali walks into her hut and does a double take. 
I didn’t know the ocean was so close. This really is awesome. She collapses in a lounger on the patio and falls fast asleep.
Stay tuned for the further adventures of the Crotchety Cougars in Fiji.
KALI…..ORANGE
Sunday at the Clubhouse.
Madi got in touch with us earlier to say she received her mousepad and thank me. 
I can smell Kali….wow. The old gal smells pretty good.
Now, down to some really fun stuff. Does everybody know that our own Buddy has got his 18th birthday coming up on the 31 of this month….right, on Wednesday? Sasha will no longer be the oldest but will have to share the title with Buddy Budd. 
It won’t be a surprise party cause mom opened her big mouth when we were visiting Buddy’s house and mentioned the Cougars would be doing something. 
We need a theme….any ideas Binky? 
C, mon Cougars crowd around and I’ll whisper it to you…psst…sic…hit. Well, what do you think?
Awesome, Binky!! He’ll love it! 
Hahaha…mew, mew….I can just picture his face. It will take him by surprise.
I think it’ll be something he won’t expect either Allie. We need the required goodies to go with it. How bout Ali, Binga, and Amber take care of it. The goodies should fit in with the theme.
Got it Kali. I’ll look after drinks. 
I’ll look after the food with Amber.
Yep, I’ll help you, Ali.
Sasha, Kit, and Sarabi you can check everything and remind us if we forgot something.
I can do that, Kali
OK, Sasha…I’m right behind you and I’ll make sure its done right.
I’ll make sure there is music that’s appropriate says Sarabi.
Finally Madi, can you guide Buddy slowly into the clubhouse. I’ll send a signal while you two are in the garden, OK?
Ok, Cougars let’s shake our booty’s and make this birthday memorable for Buddy.
KALI…..ORANGE 
Let’s Party Hardy
Here we are at the clubhouse. Hope everybody is ready for the surprise party. *Kali opens the door and walks inside.* 
Wow, what a fine job of decorating.
SARABI: Of course, we’ve had lots of experience at partying. mew.
What are you and Binga doing, Madi?
We’re having a game of Tiddlytreats. The idea is to get the treat in the cup by using a fish bone to push down on the treat and propel the treat into the cup. It’s not easy. 
BINGA: When we get a treat in the cup we get to eat it.
AMBER: Cool game girls. I see the guest of honour heading this way. Quick everyone hide….you too Buddy. 
Okey Dokey, watch out ladies, I need lotsa rooms to hide.
Into the Clubhouse walks Sasha.
Buddy and the ladies leap out yelling HAPPY 18th. BIRTHDAY, SASHA!
SASHA: Leapin Lizards, you scared the crap outta me! Which reminds me did I ever tell you about my Uncle Herbie? Well, he was just going to cross the street one day and Auntie Harriet yelled at him to be careful of the cars. He was so shocked by her yelling that he fell to his knees.
KIT: You mean he died because she scared him so much? 
SASHA: No, because a horse and carriage came along and the horse kicked Uncle Herbie in the head. mew
SASHA: Whew! Look at this place, it’s like royalty is visiting.
ALI: It’s for you, Sasha. You are our queen for the day. How does it feel to be 18? Are you achier than yesterday? 
SASHA: Mew, mew….you know, I think I am. I should sit before I fall down.
MADI: Kali and her mom baked some goodies for us to celebrate your special day. 
Mom calls these pawpuffins…they sorta puffed when they weren’t supposed to and look like muffins. MOL
ALLIE: I brought some Vine Wine that was in the back room of the clubhouse.
A toast to our Birthday gal. *Buddy and the gals each grab a bowl of Vine Wine and salute Sasha.*
Sasha: Oh my ladies, this is so special, I am touched deeply.
BINKY: Tell us something very wise, Sasha?
Hmmm, something wise, eh? “The Universal sound for peace is a cat’s purr.” How’s that?
SARABI: Excellent…we all believe that’s true.
Here’s the wonderful cake Angel Phoebe’s mom made for you, Sasha.
SASHA: My kit lit but it is beautiful!! *Sasha blows out all 18 candles.* It would be a shame to cut into it but what the heck here let’s take a picture and then eat it. Everyone got some cake….dig in…mew. mew.
BINKY: Here are some cupcakes we can take home with us. Granny made them and sent me through the Euro-tunnel when they were still hot.
SASHA: What game are you playing Binga?
BINGA: Tiddlytreats
SASHA: I played that before. I’d skip the game and just eat the treats….Mew, Mew.
BUDDY: Sasha can I talk to you?
SASHA: Sure Buddy, what is it?
BUDDY: The gals really did up the party for you but I’s wanted to do something way special for you from me to mark your big ole 18th birthday so I’s made a card just for you. I hope you likes it.
Buddy!! I love it! How nice of you. Thank you so much. *Sasha gives Buddy a big hug.* 
Baby The snowballs must Fly…*splat*
This post is dedicated to our security supervisor, Buddy. He has had a hard time with Vestibular Disease. Click on the term to learn more about it.
Buddy: C’mon da Shoks, let’s give those gals a whomping with the snowballs and we can dance the “Snowball Hop” while pitchin’ dem. 
Simba: What the…balls of the snow kind..alright who the devil is….hey it’s Buddy and Shoko! Bring it on…you two furballs. MOL
Sasha: I can dance like that….lalala..ow, ow! Something slipped. Allie: It was you that slipped Sasha.
Kit: Is she ok Binga? Binga: Looks like she twisted her ankle while dancing. She just needs to rest it and have several Mint Junips. mol Sasha: I can do that ladies. Ali: Come hobble over to Kali’s house and we’ll start the partying. 
The Cemetary….. part 2
ANGEL PHOEBE: Oh no…the Cougars are stuck in time. I must tell Kit and maybe she can help them. 
KIT: Angel Phoebe!! It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here? ANGEL PHOEBE: I watch over you gals and the other girls are in trouble. They’re at the cemetery, stuck in time. We must help them. KIT: But what can we do? Sasha is here too but, but…
ANGEL PHOEBE: Kali and I were looking into security when I left for the bridge. I’ll check her Princess Bed and see if she found anyone. What’s this? 
ANGEL PHOEBE: Looks like Kali continued looking into security services and found someone. I guess she felt something was going to happen. Look, Kit this service has a golden paw. They only give a golden paw when the company is the best!
KIT: C’mon Buddy….we need you. POP: Here I is ladies, what’s messing your furs? 
SASHA: Our Cougar sisters are caught in the cemetery and seem stuck….can you help them?
BUDDY: See da card…impawsible missions be my game, ladies. Fear done be my weapon, aha, aha, aha. Where’s Cougar Kali? KIT: She’s one of the Cougars stuck in time. BUDDY: Kali be my goilfriend so I must save them now.
Buddy approaches the cemetery to find the ladies still stuck. Why are you gals still stuck, Buddy, mutters to himself. Hey, what da time on Binga’s watch? She never turneded her watch back an hour….I sees! They’s all stuck between time. Angel Phoebe: Just turn all their watches back an hour Buddy and they should come out of the freeze Buddy turns each watch back an hour and as he is finishing there is a bright light and *POOF*. The ladies start chattering when they see Buddy. LILY OLIVIA: You saved us from a lifetime of being caught between now and then.
Ladies you are in gud, gud, gud shape! Me so happy to help yous.
Kali, Lily Olivia, Binga, Binky, Ali, Madi, Amber, and Allie come dragging through the clubhouse door. A tearful reunion ensues with much hugging.
KALI: Buddy, we had a talk and would like you to provide security for the Crotchety Cougars always. Are you 15 though? BUDDY: Yep, I’s 15 and will be 16 on Jan. 31st. BINKY: Will you join us then and become our protector?
Dis is so gud, gud, gud…..you made mes da happiest Blue Russian today. I would love to be with you ladies and protects ya all. PURRR! 
Crotchety Cougars 