Tag Archives: Niperine

Crotchety Cougars Win Big Time Part 2

ANGEL LILY OLIVIA:  Look at this ship.  Reminds me of the tales my furry mama would tell us kits about our Uncle Smackabutt.  He was a real ladies man.  He had a she-cat in every port and they all cried whenever he left for another adventure aboard the ship, Loon A Sea.  Mama says he was quite the looker too.  He had whiskers that were long and slender…they drove girlcats wild.  His furs were soft like a baby’s butt.  That’s how he got his name of Smackabutt cause after you touched his furs you just wanted to smack that silky butt.  What a guy!                                                                  

ANGEL KIT:  He sounds like the type of mancat our mom warned us about.  A carefree gigolo that would get us in the family way and then look for better pickins’ elsewhere.  A real rounder!  Figures, you’d have weird kin, Angel Lily O.                                                              

ANGEL LILY O.  I suppose you had hard-working parents and kin!  Nobody interesting in your family, eh, Angel Kit.

ANGEL KALI:  Knock it off you two.  We all have colourful characters in our families.  Now let’s focus on our ship cruise.  What’s the name of this ship?                                                                            

ANGEL PHOEBE: Hey Angel Kali this ship is the best in the Catanna line.                                                                        The ship’s called the Floating Furball.  This ship is huge!

BUDDY: Let’s get changed and have a rousing game of shuffle board. Anyone ready to be beat to a pulp, pulp, pulp with a shuffling board?

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SARABI…I am more than ready to take you on, you grey chicky. mol

BUDDY: Who’s youse callin’ a chicky, you little spotted dick? hehe. I made a funny!

SARABI:  I have stripes not spots…oh I see you’re going to call me a striped dick.  You’re odd, Buddy.  I’ll bet you 10 treats and a nip leaf I can beat you at shuffling the board.

BUDDY:  You’re on, Stripes!                                                                        

BINKY:  Wait, Buddy’s not here, yet.  Oh I see, Buddy’s taking the picture.  A bit too much nip and sun. MOL                                                                     

SARABI: Hey, grey chick-hen, we tied. Next time I’ll beat the feathers off you chicky breath.

BUDDY: That’s not gonna happen Stripes. Nyet, nyet and nyet again. My Russian is shining through.

BINGA: Anybody up for Karaoke. I feel a song comin’ on.

SASHA:  My aunt got her husband with karaoke.  She was singin’, “A Cat of Many Colours” when she fell off the stage.  My future uncle had a front table and rushed to help her up.  He was a proud member of the Royal Felines Try First Aid (RFTFA).  My aunt was ok except for some scratches caused by my uncle when he examined her.  He was kinda excited.  The rest is history.                                                                     

ANGEL PHOEBE: What’ll we sing that says it all.

ANGEL KALI: I got it. How about, “I’ve Got a Cougar By The Tail?”

  ♫ I’ve got a cougar by the tail, it’s plain to see;
I won’t be much when you get through’ with me
Well, I’m a losing weight and a turnin’ mighty pale
Looks like I’ve got a cougar by the tail

Well, I thought the day I met you, you were meek as a lamb;
Just the kind to fit my dreams and plans
But now, the pace we’re livin’ takes the wind from my sails
And it looks like I’ve got a cougar by the tail

I’ve got a cougar by the tail, it’s plain to see;
I won’t be much when you get through’ with me
Well, I’m a losing weight and a turnin’ mighty pale
Looks like I’ve got a cougar by the tail

Well, ev’ry night you drag me where the bright lights are found;
There ain’t no way to slow you down
I’m as ’bout as helpless as a leaf in a gale;
And it looks like I’ve got a cougar by the tail

I’ve got a cougar by the tail, it’s plain to see;
I won’t be much when you get through’ with me
Well, I’m a losing weight and a turnin’ mighty pale
Looks like I’ve got a cougar by the tail.♫

Songwriters: Harlan Howard / Buck Owens

ALLIE:  Yeah!!  Here’s to us.

                                                           

Stay tuned for Part 3 after everyone gargles with Niperine to soothe their crackling mews.

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